Candid

For a long time, I measured success on the idea being well-known for the things I did well. I measured my worth in how well I was known for being good at something and who cared about my business. As time passed and I moved to New York City, success morphed into a good job, a nice apartment, nice clothes, who I knew, and, once again, who knew me. Again, I measured success on how well I was leveling up, both professionally and socially. As time passed and I graduated college, I started to think success meant having a 9 to 5 job, working ** next to ** a thing your passionate about, paying your dues, and having the plan B be the focus because “nobody actually makes it on being an artist alone and it’s better to have stability instead of doing something crazy...”

But, within the last month, something shifted again. I am starting to realize that maybe success is about how you feel about the work your doing and how you’re making others feel in the process.

Do you have a sense of community?

Are you proud to wake up every morning and hustle?

I’ve realized this last month since being back that, while I am in a great place mentally, I am not living out what I’m truly passionate about, which is yoga & mindfulness, writing, and the arts. While I am successful at my job and in a place I thought was a good option for me, the truth is I am working for something I can’t seem to truly care about in a city people move to, to achieve their wildest dreams.

 I’ve always been someone who cherishes creating art. When I was younger, that meant acting and performing, as I’ve gotten older, that has morphed into writing, creating yoga flows, painting, using my hands to make things. Maybe in another five or ten years, it will look different again, but I cannot deny what I’ve been feeling called to. Which is to make art and to make other feel good in the bodies they were given and teach them about the soul that inhabits these impermanent machines.

In some ways I feel really vulnerable writing this. I feel as though I am pouring all of my emotions onto this (virtual) page for anyone to find, read, and judge…in the hopes I may spark a change within you.

And spark a change within me.